Hello...I'm peeping in from behind the door...its been 3years since I have been on this little corner of my world...and I'm a bit scared to just pop back up after such a long time but with the encouragement of friends and family here I am so here goes...❤

I have just deleted 3 drafts that I had started over the last few years but just couldn't find the words I was looking for and I'm not altogether sure I can now but I will try not to ramble too much in this first part as it may be a little boring but I'm going to try and explain my feelings...

As in the last few posts I did you will know we moved home and I was so excited and there was much to do...so I know I got caught up with all the work we were doing in the garden as the house had to wait until the funds were available...the work in the garden was hard as it was so overgrown and I got overwhelmed with the amount of work, totally underestimated it to be honest and because things were so overgrown the only way to deal with it was to strip it back to basics and then I hated it! I just couldn't find my way and I felt a slave to the garden...it was very much in control of me instead of the other way around...the weeding was relentless...I called myself a weeder rather than a gardener haha 😂...so the first year was hard and I began to feel that I couldn't do this, I wasn't capable...

All this time we were living in one room, eating, sleeping and living in one room...we didn't expect it to be long...we were in the process of selling our flat and that was stressful too, it sold 3 times, fell through twice but eventually it was sold to a lovely couple and I was so pleased that they have it but it took an age...then of course COVID hit and we went into lockdown...we just managed to get the completion through on the sale just as things were escalating thankfully...so lockdown the first time I didn't find too bad really, we had plenty of jobs to do and we already had all the materials to do the jobs, the sun was shining, I knew I just had to keep busy and I would be ok...watching the news everyday got to me, seeing all these people dying and fearing for the safety of my friends and family...once things started to ease, I, like most people I think  thought we were through the worst and we could get back to some normality...but it wasn't to be was it...

With all the pandemic, lockdowns, worry about family, trying to adapt to a new way of living...I felt I was going into freefall...a downward spiral of anxiety...I didn't feel good enough, I felt nothing I did was enough, I hated myself and all my thoughts and ideas and everything I did...along with all these feelings I knew I had nothing to complain about really, there were people much, much worse off than me, so I didn't even feel I could express anything as even that felt wrong too... 

There was a light on the horizon...we found a lovely builder to come and do the work we needed doing to create a bedroom and ensuite...this will lift my spirits I thought, I will have a bedroom and a bathroom and my lounge can eventually be done, I will be able to have my Christmas Tree up! haha...

the building work was a triumph (I will share this with you in another post)...it felt so good to have a separate room to sleep in and a living room...it was brilliant I was so grateful for it...but the feelings of self worth didn't get better...I think I made them worse by comparing my interiors and ideas with those on Instagram, I fell down the Insta rabbit hole, everyone's perfect homes, perfect décor, collaborations, free items they were receiving...so again I felt useless as my home looked nowhere near as good (I will write more about this topic in future posts) depression had set in...so another year passed me by...I was approaching my 60th birthday...oh crap! I decided the only way to deal with it was to have a party, everyone including me had missed social contact and now we were allowed again and garden party was on the agenda...

My birthday was amazing! My friends and family spoilt me so much, I was totally overwhelmed in a good way this time...beautiful cards, beautiful presents and so lovely to able to be with everyone and this was a bit of turning point...I remember crying the day after my birthday because I didn't think anyone really liked me and my party showed me that was wrong, I was liked, I was loved and I was good enough...It was a slow process, and I'm not going to lie some days were hard still...some days I wish I'd  never set sight on Songbird Cottage but by the start of 2022 I could feel a change, I felt more positive, and I began to think I was an ok person after all...hence why I am here again in this little corner...I'm doing this blog, Instagram etc. for me...to remember things and I hope that the blog lasts forever so my daughter and grandchildren can hear my voice when they read the words long into the future...

This is not only for my friends, but for my family too...my friends are part of my family

thank you for being there 💗

So, a bit long winded and there's lots of other "stuff" I could write about, but even I'm getting bored of listening to myself now haha...but if anyone else is feeling the same, my advice would be...don't listen to the news, its just doom and gloom, they've never got any good news, don't fall down the Insta rabbit hole reality is much different, share how you are feeling, don't bottle it up and if needs be get some help 💗

Ok back to the nice things that I want to talk about on here...crochet, crafting, gardening, interiors, cooking and much more...

~CROCHET~

Haven't done a lot of crochet in the 3 years I've been off here...but I did make this towards the end of last year...there is a new baby arriving this year so this is for the new baby boy...

I wanted to use contemporary colours as its for young, modern parents...totally in love with the colour combination...which I put together from my colour palette board on Pinterest and the stitch was a new one for me but I love it, it makes such a lovely squishy, soft blanket 😀

I made these as Christmas presents...such fun to make and quick...its that stitch again! Its one of my favourite stitches now..

~CRAFTING~

Not a jot!! So I thought Id just share my new magazine subscription...its called 'Landscape' its such a beautiful mag filled with lovely little quotes, great photos and its a really good read...covers all my favourite topics...Country, Heritage, Gardens, Cookery, Travel, Craft

~COOKING~

Again not much to post about...I really have been a complete ray of sunshine haven't I 😆

I made my first cake of the year the other weekend, a lemon curd sponge...something light after all the Christmas food

I made these platters for my birthday party...along with pizzas on the BBQ and wonderful samosa that our neighbour bought with them...so yummy 😋

~INTERIORS~

I will catch up with everything that has been done in follow up posts but for now these are my favourite corners of the lounge...the wall unit was purchased off Marketplace from a lovely lady who had had it her family for many years...I love it and it fitted perfectly in the spot I had in mind...It houses all my buddha's and foo dogs 

~GARDEN~

Lots has happened in the garden and as before I'll catch you up with progress over the next few posts for now...

ice from the bird bath...

cute little ducks made in the snow...I made lots of these and put them on the wall out the front...I loved seeing people picking them up and taking them home with them 💗

snowdrops have just started to appear and the hellebores are flowering...

I'm trying to grow moss balls but I have a feeling that they will disappear when the blackbirds find them during nest building scavenging 😏

So, apologies for the really long post...but I sound a little more like me now...I read through some old posts towards the end of last year and I didn't recognise the person who had wrote them...but hopefully she's back and I can move forward...I hope to post at least once a month...so until next time 

bye for now...have a fabulous week and enjoy everything you do 😍

 

Pro's and Con's

Good Morning.....

If you are reading this in the UK...I hope you are not being battered to badly by the stormy weather...its chucking it down here!!

its such a shock to the system after the lovely crispy, frosty mornings...and it got me thinking about the pro's and con's of the winter...as you know I adore the Autumn and Winter...but there are some not so nice bits!...the field which we play ball with Puppy Dog on twice every day...is at the moment like a muddy rugby pitch...she comes home covered in mud from head to toe...but is a very happy puppy as playing ball is everything!!! So she has to be showered each time...she's very good just jumps into the bath...but oh its back breaking, not to mention the muddy wet towels and the mud splashes up the walls when we've been unable to stop a shake....and that got me thinking how much I dislike this part of winter...but when I started thinking what else I didn't like...the list wasn't very long...it really was just dog showering, muddy wet towels and having to have the heating on and using too much power hahaha....the things I love...such as the cold (I quite like being cold and getting snuggly warm again) the frosty mornings, the clear crisp skies, candles lit in the house, a roaring fire, snuggly blankets and my favourite...Christmas on the horizon! I even quite like the trees this time of year...I know they are bare...but the branches are beautiful I think...and they stand so majestic against the wind...and you can see what's been hidden, they tell a little story of who as nested there this year :)

I have been having a little search through my photos and I don't think I shared with you one of favourite purchases during our holidays this year....

not the chicken egg cup you've seen those before...but the egg! I like to use the egg cups as display and used to put fresh eggs in them...but I always forgot to use them up...but whilst on holiday I spied these in the National Trust Shop...I think they were a toy, they are rubber and I think they bounce...but they are so realistic and look just the part on the kitchen counter :)

So what crafty things have I been up to since my last post...

I've finished off a lovely pullover/poncho for the lovely little Freya...I so enjoyed doing this as its the first ever garment I have made...crocheted with chunky wool so its so lovely and warm :)

I've got two blankets on the go at the moment...the one is very boring to do...lots of small squares but I'm getting there 😁

I found this in the charity shop...I wasn't sure what it was at first and they didn't know either...but it was cast iron and only £1.50...so home it came with me 😀 after a bit of an internet search it turns out that its a spice rack...easy to see once you know...it had a little facelift and I've used it as a little seasonal display piece...

My favourite thing I have been doing is this....

I have been so inspired by the pictures on Pinterest of little red trucks in the snow with a tree on the back that I thought I would make some decorations of my own...some trucks from the charity shop...a tin of enamel paint and mini bottle brush Christmas trees and this was the result...I even made some little mini wreaths from clay...

I've now got the bug though....this is the latest convoy in waiting....😆

I'm hopefully going to do something like this with some of them....

I found this image on Pinterest...isn't it just so cute!!

I have another half finished project also...

a pile of wood I hear you say...yep it is at the moment and it has had one coat of paint so far...this is what has inspired me....

I just loved this idea...and it will be perfect to use at Christmas...I have limited counter space for a buffet so this will be perfect! Just hope mine turns out a lovely as this one...

There's a couple more photos from Pinterest which have caught my eye this week...

love this idea...

and a little stocking tree for those who don't have a fireplace or mantle...

So my next post...will be very Christmassy....well I reckon come December Christmas is fair game hahaha...

I received a very lovely parcel in the post this week...my eagerly awaited book which I pre-ordered back in the Summer...

as you may already know I'm a HUGE fan of Chip and JoJo....so looking forward to getting stuck into this book and I'm eagerly awaiting the new season of Fixer Upper too 😁

So I will leave you with my choice of vintage photo for this post...very apt for todays weather...

the Gaberdine Mack! I had a navy blue one for school...did you have one of these??

And the quote for this post....

a good little life plan I think....💖

 Until next time...have a great time...enjoy everything you do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jumping In...Feet First :)

Hello...(gives a little wave from the side lines)

It has been so long since I posted last...as some of you will know I have been battling against depression and anxiety....I am glad to say that the dark days are now behind me once again and life is getting pretty much back to how it was...I have been a little scared of coming back to blogging again...but have decided to jump in feet first!

I am not going to dwell on the battle I have been fighting...just to say a lot of people do it everyday and its so important to find a way to aid your 'Mind Health'...my way has sometimes been with the help of medicine but these days I can control it with yoga exercise and meditation and just being kind and listening to what I need...but I would urge anyone struggling to get professional help...you are important and very very worthy so don't ever think you are not!

During the Summer I didn't really get up to much...I took a step back from everything...I even put my crochet hooks away!!! I think my Mom gave me a little project just to get me back interested in crafting again...it was a cover for my Dads TV chair...we decided on a retro feel with the colours and a 'manly' colour palette haha :) this was the result....

I used a new stitch to me....its called Larksfoot...a really easy but striking pattern I will definitely use that stitch again....

Once Summer is coming towards its end we always go on holiday....this year we packed up and went to Devon...a beautiful log cabin in its own grounds was our little home for the week...just glorious...perfect for getting to visit places and a HOT TUB! Oh how I love a hot tub! The weather was splendid too....and Sidmouth has become my favourite place in the world...old fashioned...gorgeous shops...bliss!

Puppy dog even got to do a spot of paddling in the sea...

I have come to the conclusion that Summer is my least favourite season....I am always so glad when Autumn comes...that is my favourite season...I know it can feel a little sad when everything starts to die back...but it is the season of re-birth...seeds being sown...trees settling in for a winter nap...not to mention the glorious colours...all of my favourite colours...I truly am an Autumn girl :)

So back to crafting...I had an email come through from Hobbycraft and they had little faux pumpkins on sale for £1...I knew I had to have some of these...so 3 were purchased that same day...I wanted to use them for display...I like to change around the décor to suit the seasons so these would be perfect...I also knew that I wanted white pumpkins this year...so set about painting them with chalk paint and highlighting details with acrylic paint...this was the result...

and the best bit is that they are hollow so if you wanted to carve them they are nice and easy...I just took the top of mine and put a jar inside to hold flowers...

I used the others in a little Autumn display in the kitchen...I painted up a little wooden crate and stencilled the letters on...used the pumpkins, foliage and the last of hydrangea flowers which dried such beautiful colours and added in some feathers and pine cones...

and for Halloween...I used fresh flowers with an added cute little witch :))

It is a wonderful crisp cold day here today...blue skies and frost...my favourite kind of day! I've just got back from playing ball with Puppy Dog over the field...it was beautiful...

There are two things on my list of things I would really like to have from Pinterest this week...

isn't this just adorable? a little snow globe with a yarny Christmas Tree inside...they are on sale at TK Maxx...so Hubby I hope you are reading this! HaHa :)  The other is a this...

I just soooo want a vintage red truck...just like this...I would use it for Autumn and for Christmas I just love it!

So that's about it...all caught up with the little makes...I do have some more crochet stuff to share with you but will save that till next time....

I will leave you with a vintage photo...which is very much from my childhood...

I had one of these...exactly the same! Oh how I loved that trike...and the little boot on the back was so useful...in fact I would love to ride one of these now haha :)

and my quote for this week...

very much my 'To Do' list over the last few months....

Take care all...enjoy everything you do...until next time....lots of love xxxx